Dampened Pillars..

When the building you built housed only people who could see the spacious, comfortable and enriching appearance of the walls and stones built. 

You wanted a home which was filled with love. But you founded a castle built in luxury. 

You believed that food, sleep, sunshine, truthfulness, hardwork and the magic ingredient love, would make a splendid portion. However, life taught you, this was far from true.

People and it includes me, are very selfish. All we can see is, our peace, our happiness, our success… When you are at a plus in one of the three… There would be everyone around and you wouldn’t mind a few who are not around😂

Internally you know how weak your pillars have become.. time has sweeped water through the walls of the building. The dampness looms the inner soul. 

When one fine day the building crashes, all blame the contractor and  the owner for the poor utility and maintenance. 

For now the owner knows that the material he had build the pillars with, the external extravagance all had wrong proportions of concrete mix. 

Now the owner builds the building again… With stronger walls and harder pillars… For he’s bored of his own shortcomings.. and because life goes on..

Life is Beautiful ✨

Advertisements

Don’t tie down your Happiness!

So classifying people on the type of life they lead, we can broadly classify the people into three categories: Smart workers, hard workers and visual workers.

Smart worker would be one who wants to learn, understand and establish his/her own strategies and implement those into the team. They would always have more on their plate, much more than things that they could handle.

Hard worker would be the one’s those who want to learn, unlearn, relearn, teach and get to know how everything works. They aren’t very keen on implementing new ways but over time they would grow to be smart workers. They are slow but have a slow and methodical approach to tasks.

Visual worker these are the sad type of worker –  one who is fearful of the boss, tries to hypnotise the supervisor or manager into believing that they are slogging and putting in a lot of work. They would be jealous, people who would poke their nose into others business and would be at times annoying to the extent of mental torture to the smart and hard working type of workers.

Setting aside all this, try to never tie your happiness to the momentary events in your life. This is from a talk in office- I need to have a feeling that the place where I sit, my desktop and laptop all these brings in a feeling of…being my space. So, Life is Beautiful being my most favourite words, I put up a sticky note of that on my laptop. Now, this was a huge matter of interest and annoyance to some people around. The only answer my unfortunate sharp tongue returned was – I’m sorry that your Life is Ugly.

Being on a call this evening with my friend, made me realise that she was tying her happiness to the events in life. On enquiring on how her Masters program was going she tells me, “Dude my theory paper is over and all that is remaining is the project research, once that  is over I would be super happy in life.” I decided to tell her that she would be perfectly fine. Then she continues to talk and happens to tell me, “Dude, once I’m placed I will be the happiest human being on this earth.” Now I couldn’t resist, but firmly tell her that she was tying her happiness to the events that will no matter what, would definitely happen in her life. She was in fact postponing her happiness. I told her, I would probably sound like a preacher/psychiatrist but the truth is, her happiness is definitely not dependent on the project or the job. She replies, “I’m feeling these are things I’ve committed to…. things which I don’t feel are my choices in life.” Now this was hard. The problem wasn’t immediate but a long time issue. In order to please her parents/societal expectations she was putting a lock on her happiness, her choices and in the event never tried to figure out what her true calling was… what she really loved doing. Sometimes this stems from the upbringing and the thought process – to all the parents out there- DO NOT decide the choices your children need to be making – It’s not always about your child having the best choice picked on their plate, try looking if that brings a smile on their face.

To my generation, and to everyone: Do not tie your happiness to the momentary events in your life. 

Don’t weigh down Balloons (happiness) with the rocks of your momentary expectations.

Life is Beautiful!

GoodBye – Healer

For you shall walk away.. 

And I shall never call you back.

For you have a piece of my life..

I do not want it back.

You’ve given me a share of your thoughts..

I will treasure them.

You have to take this path..

And I’ll wish you well, though in pain.

You will never know..

How hard all this was…

You will never hear from me..

For that is.. I know not why..

You would be missed..

For it’s better that way.

From the deepest ends of gratitude, Thank you, for all of You!

“You got to talk to the one who made you, talk to the one who understands, talk to the one who gave you, All the light in your eyes..”      ~Sheryl Crow

Life is Beautiful.

“EXPECTATIONS” and You.

The dictionary meaning of the word,

“Expectation” is: A strong belief that something will happen or be the case.

From a very early age we are introduced to expectations, in fact even before we are born! The phrase being: ‘An expecting mother.’ Even before you are born, your parents were expecting you. The story till here is fantastic!

Then the spiral of expectations slowly start pacing in your life…

Parents expect their kids to learn to crawl soon, hear soon, walk soon, talk soon, join school earlier by a few years, just in case… HahaX. The current trend being school, tuitions, special classes, classical music, western dance, karate, swimming, guitar, calligraphy classes, football coaching and every other possible or impossible thing. They are not your children, they are your Basket of expectations

My mother was the computer teacher in the school which I studied. I like any other kid forgot to do the home work one day, the teacher said, ” I didn’t expect this from you.” Meaning, it was fine if the other kids forgot, but my memory loss would bring shame to my mother as well. I was expected to be extra cautious. This is Unfair expectations.

My Dad would always quote, ” I’m pinning my hope on you.” Being a self motivated kid, this phrase put me under a lot of stress. Now there was a difference, in the expectations from my parents and grandmother. Say, if I’m back after an exam, and tell my paper didn’t go well. Immediately, Grandmother: “Will you pass?” My mother: ” Did others find the paper hard as well?” My Dad: ” Which position would you stand in class?” Varied intensities/levels of expectations. This is Scales of expectation. 

The level of expectations for grade 10 and grade 12 need not even be emphasized, it’s as dreaded as the dooms day was approaching. Then expectations of a rank, expectations of placement, expectation of the perfect career/life, expectation of onsite, expectation of marriage, expectation of a kid and the Loop of expectations continues…

So though expectation is a motivational factor, you don’t like the world dictating standards to your life.. Do you?

Definitely, none of us would like that, but unfortunately the sad truth is that we are unknowingly stuck in the whirl of expectations.

Now, these were all instances where the world put a lot of burden of expectation on us.

Do we have expectations from others? 

Damn! Yes, I do. I expect my mom to cook every single day. I expect the clouds to warn me before it rains. I expect karma to have a fast and good return policy. I expect the society to respect me, my thoughts, my family, my choices, my food, my pet, my choice of clothes and my life on the whole. Now pause and think!

Was it the society expecting from you or you expecting acceptance from the society?

The answer could be both. But I would still slightly lean onto the concept of the expectations being internal. We have fixed certain things in our mind of a perfect life, from which stems the cause of a dissatisfaction and lack of self worth. The conflict here is Internal Expectation.

Example:

I expect my colleague to speak to me a certain way.

I expect educated and well dressed men not to harass women.

I expect my child to secure the first rank in class, because I’ve given him a lot of input.

This is a non-exhaustive list. We suffer from something also called, Picture Perfect LifeI’m writing this article, because I was on the victim side just as you are..

I realized, I suffered when people put expectations on me, and I also suffered when I put expectations on others. Because, I felt burdened with expectations and I felt others didn’t live up to my expectations, I suffered either way. 

So are having expectations bad?

No, but just check in that you are not too pinned down by the idea of painting a picture perfect life where all expectations set are met. Rather than an expectation I would suggest you have a mission and a vision.

Mission: describes what you want to do now.

Vision: outlines what you want to be in the future – end goal.

Set yourself free from the shackles of your own expectations.

Thanks to a friend who inspired this thought process.

Life is Beautiful!

Father’s Day – Gift😂

My Dad has been working from the last 36 years, with 15 years of meritorious service for the Indian Navy. He was the radar operator in INS Rajput(Destroyer). INSRajput

He didn’t have a LinkedIn account. I felt it would be amazing to record his tenure, with the Indian Navy and more than a dozen private organisations.

As I recorded each organisation, I realised he has worked up the ladder from very junior positions..  really worked hard to get to where he is today. In the midst of all this, he made a considerably huge amount of time for me. He invested a lot of time and patience on me.

I just randomly made his profile for the fun of making one. Now the thought of presenting it to him..

I wished him, “Happy Father’s day.” And told him, this was his Father’s day gift from me… Not really, it was actually my love and respect. But, he being the military man and an enthusiast of News 9 called out to me, “Come watch Huccha Venkat’s drama on TV, you are always on your laptop, come here.. I’ve got mangoes for you, cut one.”

My Mom hears all the commotion. She cuts the mango.. we all begin to eat.. One happy family, watching – Huccha Venkat’s drama.

My Mom looks at me with a sparkle in her eye.. She tells me, “I want a Facebook account for Mother’s Day.”

HahahahaX

I love my parent’s. 😘