Brene Brown is the author of this amazing best seller book – The Gifts of Imperfection. For anyone who has been conditioned to always give their 100% and taught to be perfect, they may sometimes not even consider a few chances cause they feel they are under prepared, which might rarely be the case. Here are a few pieces from her book which have had a profound impact in my transition journey.
Amazon Link- The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown: https://amzn.to/3C286k3
Some people are here for the impact they create not for the time they spend..
They are farmers who plant seeds but don’t get to see or harvest the fruits..
The vision they hold, outlives their time on Earth.
They mark their footprints as badges for others to have a better path..
Some people are ‘impact’ over ‘time’
The question, am I an introvert or an extrovert?
I’ve never confidently been able to answer this.. I’m both, is what I’d like to believe.
Off late I had the time and chance to connect with a few of my school and college friends. After the nostalgia travel down the memory lane, they landed the words – confident, bold, strong, popular and over-confident as adjectives they recalled resounded with their memory of me. Yes, these description of me- I did resonate with great pride but there was a tiny impostor/ or hidden identity that I felt in that description of me.
Most of these folks I spoke to believed I was gifted – outspoken, bold, strong, confident/ over-confident. Yes, that is how seamless I made it look to them, and I’m glad that I was successful in doing the same. But then they would quote a few of the incidents that were happening or happened to them in the past and hear how they would like to confront it – but they’d also tell me why they would not want to take that step. They would give me a fully blown 5 year plan of why they choose what they choose – greasing me with oh, you are a bold, strong person and you would have definitely done something about that if you were in my place.
I thought about how many similar tiny voices were galloping in my head all through my life and even now. But at some point you take that leap. Nobody told me when or how to do it. And even if they had to tell me – I would have told them the same – You should’ve been here to fix this issue.
It takes a lot of time to settle that inner voice and the consequences that follow. Only you will know when you are ready to take the plunge and you must also know if the plunge you take shows you a greater hell – you would still be happy to go that way. Always, Forgive and also Forget but take the lessons with you.
I look very homeless (in the way I’m dressed) at home and fret being seen by outside home people that way. Also got called out for my choice of clothing and no accessory look – I’m neither proud nor upset. But there was SHAME – that got triggered in me. So I started a talking thingy on youtube – where I sit down in home clothes and talk – I named that – “RANDOM TALKING.”
Circling back to the title – I wanted to Owe my Story of not being gifted but of achieving the gift of being Bold, Outspoken, Strong, Confident, Over-Confident. Over the years there has been newer versions of courage I had to learn through different walks of life. 😀
This video shares the beginning of the journey of being confident.
I also talk about stage fear in this video something on those line I had written some time back.
Here’s the link to that: https://sherilvj.wordpress.com/2016/09/13/how-to-overcome-stage-fear/
Keep that SMILE on!
Life is Beautiful
The story runs back about 21 years. I was in class two when my maternal great grandfather gave us a coconut tree sapling to be planted at our place, when we met him during the school summer vacations at Kerala that year. He had carefully picked up the plant for her grand daughter, my mother. Once we reached home after the vacation, we immediately planted it at 6 foot distance from the house so that its closer to home but has a decent distance from the house. Adjacent to the coconut sapling we had a jackfruit tree both just being their journey in life. Another two years later my Dad planted another coconut sapling at the other corner of our property, he purchased that from the local farmers at a Krishi mela.
Soon the coconut trees and the jackfruit tree started growing tall and strong. The coconut tree near the house given by my great grandfather has very slow growth. Over time (say 10 years later) the coconut tree near the fence started flowering and bore fruits – tender coconuts in pretty parrot green. But the tree near the house did not flower as yet. One of those days, in the evening I heard my Dad talk to the coconut tree. It was quite amusing, he was brushing off the leaves of the jackfruit tree that had fallen over the branches of the coconut tree and asking it look at the tree which was two years younger and yet bore fruits earlier. He told the tree, ” You need to catch up soon.” Now the reason why this coconut tree was finding it to grow was, though it received the water and manure, it lacked sunlight and an path to grow cause the Jackfruit tree spread its branches and encroached into its path of growth and then there was our house on the other side. Finally after much request from its care taker, my Dad, the tree decided to grow and bear fruit. The tree slanted towards the house, not interfering in the path of the jackfruit tree and gave bunches of tender coconut.
We were very happy to see the way the trees had grown and continued to give much fruits. It took 12 years for the tree given by my great grandfather to bear coconuts. Now a days we have the hybrid coconut tree which is very short and bears fruits within 5-7 years. It is difficult to find people to climb up the coconut tree – must say that requires good skills. Soon the coconut tree was right over the top of the house. Then the troubles started…
The squirrels were easily able to open the small tender coconuts to drink water and that used to fall over the terrace. We had our water pipeline and over head water tank closely under the coconut tree. The old branches of the coconut tree started falling thunderously over the terrace. We tried calling different people to pull the tree away from the house and tie, but none were sure that would work effectively. The coconuts continued showering over our heads. But one day, a coconut thoroughly aimed at the water valve and got flung down and my mom just missed getting hit on the head by a few inches. Around those days, a average sized coconut fell on my head, thanks to the squirrel.
At last, my Dad finally agreed and decided to cut the coconut tree. The tree he cared for 21 years.. I’m sure it would have been a tough decision to make. The tree cutters arrived and worked for a full day from morning 9am to evening 5pm. I stood witness to the whole event, I had never seen a coconut tree getting cut before. They brought down the trunk in pieces, making sure nothing hit the house. The huge trunk did fall on the stone pillar of the grapeyard and broke it. The guys who cut the tree, helped us replace that stone pillar.
We got about five tengin pookula (coconut flowers), 130 tender coconuts and the heart of the coconut tree. The tengin pookula is used to make a ayurvedic medicine for backache and gynecological disorders. The soft pulp of the coconut tree, which is at the head of the tree, inside the trunk is the heart of the coconut tree. Mostly used as a salad – Millionaire’s salad, is simple, tender-crisp, delicately sweet, ivory-coloured salad is made from finely sliced heart of the coconut palm tree which is tossed with fragrant lime juice, olive oil, thinly sliced onion and seasoned with sugar, salt and pepper. Hearts of palm are rich in fiber, potassium, iron, zinc, phosphorus, copper, vitamins B2, B6, and C and has no fat. The palm heart is located inside the fibrous layers of the terminal bud of the coconut tree. The terminal bud is the main area of growth in most plants and is located at the top of the trunk where the leaves are located.
Life is Beautiful.
It’s rained all over Bangalore but not where I lived.
This summer the mango showers weren’t strong enough. However, this particular evening the day I chose for a work from home option was indeed a crazy-rainy one!
It rained strong for about 45 minutes. Initially, we enjoyed the tiny droplets sprinkling on our faces as we watched the rain through the front door.
Soon the breeze became a strong wind.. Leaves of trees, twings everything started getting tossed in the wind. Soon we closed the door and took shelter inside.
The rain forced itself through every window and every access point. Then it was over. The rain stopped.
We stepped outside to find a raw coconut palm branch down, a honeybee comb crashed on the pavement and the crying of some creature.
A baby squirrel had landed close to the entrance of the house. We picked it up and put it into a box.
As we walked down to the garden we found yet another baby squirrel crying in a high pitched tune. This fellow was hidden within the grass.
Time flew past – an hour of looking at the tiny squirrel’s.
Their eyes barely opened, already pushed into everything that could possibly go wrong in a lifetime.
Their mother did not come to fetch them. We could hear another similar cry of squirrel and thought it was the mother squirrel searching. After quite a look out for 30-40 minute’s, we found yet another baby squirrel. Now this fellow was a little better as he wasn’t all wet. We put the babies together.
An uncle of mine picked them up. He has been taking care of Hamsters, love birds and kittens. So the squirrel’s would find shelter too – Bless that heart.
The squirrels were struck by a crazy turn of events in their life. Many a time we don’t choose certain things but have to go through it to come out stronger or wiser than before.
Coming to the honeybees, they were making a mountain of where the hive fell and slowly dispersed. They took a long time to accept and come to terms. The honeybees lost their young ones, all the hard work done to collect the honey – it was all gone. They stayed there – may be wept for a long time and eventually moved on in life.
When it’s over, pick up your pieces and find your peace!
Life is Beautiful.
Life is Beautiful 