The question, am I an introvert or an extrovert?
I’ve never confidently been able to answer this.. I’m both, is what I’d like to believe.
Off late I had the time and chance to connect with a few of my school and college friends. After the nostalgia travel down the memory lane, they landed the words – confident, bold, strong, popular and over-confident as adjectives they recalled resounded with their memory of me. Yes, these description of me- I did resonate with great pride but there was a tiny impostor/ or hidden identity that I felt in that description of me.
Most of these folks I spoke to believed I was gifted – outspoken, bold, strong, confident/ over-confident. Yes, that is how seamless I made it look to them, and I’m glad that I was successful in doing the same. But then they would quote a few of the incidents that were happening or happened to them in the past and hear how they would like to confront it – but they’d also tell me why they would not want to take that step. They would give me a fully blown 5 year plan of why they choose what they choose – greasing me with oh, you are a bold, strong person and you would have definitely done something about that if you were in my place.
I thought about how many similar tiny voices were galloping in my head all through my life and even now. But at some point you take that leap. Nobody told me when or how to do it. And even if they had to tell me – I would have told them the same – You should’ve been here to fix this issue.
It takes a lot of time to settle that inner voice and the consequences that follow. Only you will know when you are ready to take the plunge and you must also know if the plunge you take shows you a greater hell – you would still be happy to go that way. Always, Forgive and also Forget but take the lessons with you.
I look very homeless (in the way I’m dressed) at home and fret being seen by outside home people that way. Also got called out for my choice of clothing and no accessory look – I’m neither proud nor upset. But there was SHAME – that got triggered in me. So I started a talking thingy on youtube – where I sit down in home clothes and talk – I named that – “RANDOM TALKING.”
Circling back to the title – I wanted to Owe my Story of not being gifted but of achieving the gift of being Bold, Outspoken, Strong, Confident, Over-Confident. Over the years there has been newer versions of courage I had to learn through different walks of life. 😀
This video shares the beginning of the journey of being confident.
I also talk about stage fear in this video something on those line I had written some time back.
Here’s the link to that: https://sherilvj.wordpress.com/2016/09/13/how-to-overcome-stage-fear/
Keep that SMILE on!
Life is Beautiful
Life is Beautiful 